


Hand That Feeds

by Neffectual



Series: 104 Reasons to Stay Alive [30]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blow Jobs, Formalwear, M/M, Semi-Public Sex, high society - Freeform, orisor inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3463925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neffectual/pseuds/Neffectual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin is lost in a room of chattering fools, and Levi is the only breath of fresh air to cut through the bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hand That Feeds

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the NIN song of the same name, inspired because some friends were talking and we realised we'd almost all had disappointing sex to a NIN song. Ah, to be young in the early 2000s once more.

The problem is that Levi doesn’t understand how these things are supposed to go, unused to the political sniping which goes on behind the scenes, Erwin thinks, watching Levi wince again as someone laughs next to him at the cocktail reception, a bray of laughter to go with the woman’s horsey face.

The rumours have been flying thick and fierce since the mess at the capital, and Levi is the one they revolve around. Erwin is too old now, too cautious, and too used to the ways of playing the game; he can smile to someone’s face as they rip him to shreds, and keep that smile steady until they walk away. When his lips move into a moue of disgust, it is only in private, where none of these little vipers are here to see it.

Levi, though, Levi is different, poor at keeping his feelings hidden, disgusted noises escaping him at every turn, and he is unable to fake a smile for those he has no time for. The problem, Erwin knows, is loyalty – Levi is unfathomably, unfailingly loyal, and he cannot see why anyone would bite the hand that feeds, why these turncoats would stay when they so plainly have no belief in those who are served with the task of protecting them. In moments where Erwin is not there to whisk him away, Levi looks lost in a way Erwin has never seen before, his face empty, but still not able to remain blank and careful.

 

Someone asks him to dance, and Erwin turns to see Lady D-  at his elbow, and he smiles, polite and not an inch more, his mind already whirring, following the reports she has sent calling the Survey Corps a waste of money, men and resources, calling him a butcher and Levi his vicious attack dog. He accepts graciously, and spins her around the dance floor, letting her step on his toes as if he does not realise she does it on purpose, to cause a scene.

She would have better luck with Levi, to risk scuffing those polished shoes, if she wishes to have someone explode in anger, but there is little she would be able to do, as Levi is still bandaged under his impeccably pressed dress uniform, and can turn down any dance with a gesture to the cane he is using to walk. Lucky bastard.

Erwin’s gaze is soft, fond, and he quickly shuts down the expression, hoping no one will notice the slip. It would not do to let his eyes wander when he is dancing with the most eligible woman in the room, dripping in diamonds – worthless, he can hear, in Levi’s voice, because you can’t eat diamonds.

 

Levi is everything that this room isn’t; practical, loyal, truthful, and if Erwin steps away from the dance to wipe at an eye, it is only because the light is so bright, when reflected off all of the twinkling jewels in the room.

The gossip which spreads, the rumours which fly, he cares not for any of them, because with Levi by his side he is stronger, better; he is the man he is supposed to be, the man who is held up above all others as capable and in control. Funny how someone who, usually, takes control away from him, can be so instrumental in ensuring that he is, in all other aspects of his life, the one in charge.

 

Watching Levi move through this room of people whose faces say everything but what they are thinking, Erwin isn’t sure if his captain is a sheep amongst wolves, or a wolf parting the herd easily, paying no mind to something which is only relevant if he’s hungry for something. The look he gives Erwin, when he allows his eyes to stray, suggests the latter, and Erwin suspects that it isn’t mutton the other man is after.

There is a reason they stay far from each other for most of these banal meetings, and Erwin’s patience for smiles and lies is running thin; he takes a position near the wall as the dancing begins in earnest, Levi also excusing himself. Dancing is for the younger men, those looking for a good match.

Nile had met Marie at one of these tedious affairs, he now recalls, and spots his old friend leading his wife around the dancefloor with a broad smile, happy with his position in life. Erwin smiles back, but that fades as soon as Nile is out of sight. He has no such freedom to find someone; they are all dead men walking, and who would tie themselves to someone who might be home once a month if they were lucky, all for a military pension? And truthfully, is there anyone for whom he would give up the fight?

 

The answer, he thinks, is right in front of him as Levi sidesteps him, leaning against the wall so close that their shoulders touch.  
“If one more woman pinches my arse, I’m going to break their toes.” Levi says, conversationally, tone light and his face carefully free of anger.

“Well, you are the second most eligible bachelor in the room.” Erwin remarks, as if they were speaking about the weather, “If you survive the next month.”

“You’d make a better meal.” Levi says, a hint of a smirk twitching at his lips.

“Mm, you’re more of an hors d’oeuvre.” Erwin mutters back, and that’s definitely a smile on Levi’s face, “No, no, don’t smile, you’ll send them all flocking back over here again.”

Levi shudders theatrically, and now it’s Erwin trying to keep a straight face.

“Worse than titans.” Levi comments, “At least I’m allowed to kill titans.”

“No making a mess of the floor.” Erwin says, automatically, and Levi gives him a look which is so loaded with incredulity that he smirks, hiding it with a cough.

“Rather make a mess of you.” Levi replies, deadpan, and Erwin cannot help the thrill which goes through him at those words.

 

Levi looks so good on his knees, and Erwin has to remember that the walls here are thin, and the door doesn’t lock. The smoking room is usually full of men at this time, but all the older ones have stopped attending or died, and the younger are still trying to find themselves a lady. The green baize room is silent but for the sound of the clockwork air extractor, busily turning as Levi makes short work of Erwin’s dress uniform pants.

“You’ve been watching me all night.” He says, deliberately flicking his eyes to Erwin’s face, making him look vulnerable in a way which he certainly isn’t, “Is this what you wanted?”

Erwin doesn’t have the words for what he wanted, whether it was to let Levi fuck him over the buffet table in front of scandalised aristocracy, or to just walk out, hand in hand, ignoring the gasps of horror. After all, it is one thing to have an arrangement with another gentleman, quietly, and out of sight, but quite another to let someone of the lower classes bugger you, even if you paid them.

“I always watch you.” Erwin says, instead, not being able to give voice to what he means, “No matter where we are.”

Levi’s mouth flicks up into that half-smile Erwin knows so well, and bends his head, flicking his tongue over the tip of the cock in his hand, and making Erwin lean his head back against the wall with a gentle thump.

 

They could be caught at any time, and yet Levi is using little kitten licks at the head, his hand just cradling Erwin’s balls gently, like he wants this to last a lifetime. Erwin, himself, is a little less enthused about the idea of spending the rest of the night involved in pleasurable torture, so bucks his hips forwards, forcing Levi to open his mouth. Levi lets him in with ease, dropping both hands to rest on his knees, fingers white as he claws into himself in pleasure.

After Erwin comes, he pulls Levi up by the shoulders and kisses him, tasting himself, before he gets a hand on Levi and it’s all over but the harsh breaths sounding so loud over the quiet music from the ballroom. Some moments, Erwin thinks, are not given but snatched from others, and he takes this one to wrap his arms around Levi and hold him close, feel their hearts pounding the same rhythm.

 

To step back into the ballroom after is to live in a world of noise where there was once silence. The sound rushes back like rain pouring down in spring, and Erwin has to catch his breath for a second. Someone is next to him, talking recent gossip and figures, women crowding to him and demanding dances, and he smiles, nodding, waiting for the moment when the ringing in his ears once more becomes sound. He is awash in a room of chattering fools, and Levi’s hand on his arm is the only breath of fresh air to cut through the bullshit.

“We have a need to be back at the walls.” Levi says, smoothly, and Erwin wonders when he learnt to lie so easily, “Duty calls, ladies.”

Erwin finds himself propelled by a strong hand on his lower back, moving him expertly through the crowds until they are outside, the cold night air bracing as Levi’s hand dips slightly, a cheeky grope as the driver brings their carriage around.

“A promise.” Erwin says, tone brooking no argument.  Levi’s face breaks into the first real smile his lover has seen since they left the barracks; it transforms his face, makes him softer, somehow. He says nothing; nothing needs to be spoken aloud as they climb into the carriage and Erwin pulls the blinds down tight against the world of lamp-lit darkness beyond. Here, in this moment, there is nothing but the two of them. No lies, no falsehoods, no masks.

It might not be natural for Erwin, but, with Levi’s thigh hot against his own, their bodies sharing a line of heat as they sit a little too close on the plush seating, he thinks he may come to enjoy it.


End file.
